Trail Gazing

I can't believe my friends are gone...even though we hadn't talked much.
Still I figured I'd see them again, since they'd been around for so long.

My friends are dying...I'm only 29...
How can this be?


T/A/R/db -
I'm still in shock, even though I'm not surprised...

I hope you're not in pain anymore.
I'm sorry that you're going to miss out on so much.
I hate that you did this to yourself, your family, your kids.
It's so hard for me to understand why you couldn't just stop.

Thank you for the memories.
The songs, the poems, the art, the conversations, the hugs, and the love.
Thank you for being there for my sister when she needed you.
Thank you for being her someone for so long.
Thank you for showing her she deserves love...I tried...failed...because she needed it from you.



A.J. -
You were supposed to come back...you didn't.
You were supposed to call...you didn't.
You were supposed to live long...you didn't.

I miss your face, your kindness, thoughtfulness...the random phone calls apologizing for not calling.
Talking to you while you were driving - I'm glad you didn't call that night.
I didn't hear it...
I'm sorry we didn't get to do more
talk more
see more
be more.


I miss you.